Ruth Kadiri Calls On Couples To Ignore Societal Wedding Expectations

Ruth Kadiri, an actress and filmmaker, has warned young couples against giving in to pressure to throw lavish weddings because doing so could unnecessarily strain the marriage.

She said, “I do think that big weddings put pressure on couples; it puts pressure on the marriage itself. Big weddings put pressure on people, and they don’t seem to have realised that. They don’t seem to have realised that because I’m not just talking about spirituality or anything; I’m talking about mental health.

Kadiri claimed in a video message posted on her Instagram page that many couples are unaware of the financial, emotional, and spiritual strain that comes with a large wedding.

“Do you know that people have a phobia, a fear? People naturally fear what marriage is. But they could date, they will date this girl, love her, be with her every day, every day, every day and then after this whole damn ceremony, have you asked yourself what changed? Married, that wedding is part of what changed.”

“Do you know that this kind of things ehn, sometimes it takes you like six months to realise that you are married. When you have your event like this, later after, it be like okay, na true I don marry oh, na the marriage be this oh, na him be this that we dey so, wow. But when you put yourself under too much pressure, this desire to… I never had that kind of marriage, I didn’t, and I feel like it’s part of why I’m successful. I’ve stayed this year; I can categorically say I’m successful because I’ve seen people marry for two months, then divorce. So me I don dey, I’m like seven years now so I can say I don try, I don try oh”, she said.

“So I do want to encourage people, young people, go to your father’s house, your mother, your father, your uncle, two, two people carry from inside, mother and father, two people, pay the bride price, go home. Want to do wedding, carry yourself, invite 30 people, go to court, from court come back home, call pastor, let him pray, drink wine and sleep. E go be like say you do birthday party”.

“No, don’t play. Nigeria puts too much pressure on us. Engagement, court, white wedding, traditional wedding. People generally feel that if they don’t go through this process, their marriage will not work. People, you put yourself out there for people to poke. I’m telling you, some people who got married haven’t even been able to have a child because one bastard, forgive my language, who they invited to that marriage has done them like this. My sister, carry your bag, go home.”

“This generation now, I need you people to change a lot of things. One thing I want you people to change is the pressure parents put on their children to succeed and bring money home. I promise you, this generation needs to change it.”

Ruth is right: don’t feel pressured to have a big wedding just because someone else did. Your wedding should reflect your wishes and what you can afford—not be an attempt to impress people. Plan it on your own terms and within your budget; don’t go into debt trying to please others. There’s life after the wedding, so couples should make thoughtful choices and put their future first.